Paul Metcalfe - vice captain manifesto

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Paul Metcalfe - vice captain manifesto

Post by The Black Knight on Wed Aug 30, 2017 9:43 am

Manifesto for Vice Captain

The role of Vice Captain is traditionally to deal with the running of a company or team, leaving the leadership and direction to the Captain. This is the role that I would fulfil as Vice. I would take on all logistical and organisational tasks leaving Tim free to create a strong team and to lead the them in list selection, team promotion, captain’s meetings and votes (of which Bernard assures me there are numerous!)

Anyone who has previously played for the team will be aware that you can easily spend upwards of £1000 between 6 Nations and ETC. As vice, I would like to pre-empt some of the costs by having a team kitty contributed to by the chosen team. £200 would be paid on selection, with a further £300 after 6 Nations. These two payments are to ease the flow of cash and not leave any one person having to front money. Costs will be shared and agreed with all team members before purchase. This money would be used for team shirts, hotels, flights and tournament fees. In the event that there is excess money, the remainder would be refunded to each player, however the overall cost to bear for each player throughout the year will more than likely be higher than this.

There are currently better people than me involved in the team to judge the meta and write lists, so I don’t think this is a skill that as Vice Captain I would need to bring to the team. As Tim says, we can lock the list wizards away in a small dark cupboard and see what they come up with.

Finally, my main duty as Vice would be supporting Tim in any way necessary. I am well placed to meet with Tim regularly and ensure the smooth running of the team. I attend the same club two or three times a month where we can cuddle, and I can support Tim’s emotional needs as he navigates the captaincy.

Finally finally, as vice I will be enforcing mandatory facial hair and a ban on deodorant. These will be powerful psychological and biological weapons when facing the enemy. If facial hair can’t be grown naturally, a care package of super glue and a fist full of Blacky’s pubes will be supplied. Team kit will be changed from kilts and sports tops to dirty Y fronts and cowboy hats.

I hope you will all vote for me as Vice, and support me in this vision for the team.


The Black Knight

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Join date : 2017-08-16

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